Pope Praises Pelosi

Joe Ratzinger's in the news:

Pope Benedict XVI on Wednesday told U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, a Catholic who supports abortion rights, that Catholic politicians have a duty to protect life "at all stages of its development," the Vatican said.

Then they drew attention to the post-larval adult stage of human development, blasting the U.S. for its support of the death penalty. He reminded judges and politicians that it is their duty to oppose the death penalty at all costs, reading a long list of names of all Catholics that serve in public office. "You should be ashamed!" he bellowed, causing his large hat to shift about his head.

A number of the bishops in the United States have questioned Pelosi's stance on abortion, particularly her theological defense of her support for abortion rights.

While noting her stance on abortion, much of their time was spent lavishing praise on Pelosi for her belief in evolution, opposition to the death penalty and child molestation, as well as her support of the poor through social programs--all in line with Catholic church doctrine. "It's just amazing how in touch she is with the theological justifications for all of these wonderful things." said Cardinal O'Rhorty. "We spend so much time railing against conservatives for their un-Jesusy beliefs--it's nice to meet someone who is so close to our core beliefs."

Actually, I'm making all that up.