Head Scratcher

This is yesterday's cartoon from Pulitzer Prize Winner Michael Ramirez.

Hillary is taking the "I" and "Y" in "Unity" to build "Hillary." But why is there a giant red "H_LLAR_" right next to it? Where did those letters come from? There's also the problem of it not even remotely representing what Hillary did at the DNC Convention.

Palin

A disappointing choice from McCain. I was looking forward to drawing Romney again.

The only worthwhile criticism they have of Obama is that he doesn't have enough foreign policy experience. (John McCain, you may have heard, lived for some time overseas.) Are we to believe Palin has more experience than Obama and is ready to face down Ahmadinejad?

Here are some covers I drew for the Anchorage Press around the time Palin was taking the Governor's office there.

Noun, Verb, POW

John McCain is now using his years as a POW to answer everyday questions. It's because he has no new ideas and nothing to offer except claims that he is more patriotic and tougher than Obama. I expect the RNC convention to be three themes repeated endlessly for four days: The War On Terror, Obama is weak and McCain was a POW. Sub-themes include reminding us about 9/11 and endless troop worship.

This ad released today is one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen.

Kill The Yellow Man?

Great speech from Obama. I won't bother opining further.

But I wanted to chime in on the music. That horrendous country tune that began when he concluded his speech seemed a little out of character. Then, as the talking heads began their chattering, "Born In The USA" started playing. Could that be the most misunderstood song in history?

Obama Not Qualified?

It's a line we've been hearing ever since he launched his campaign.

There's some writing in The Weekly Standard I feel compelled to waste my time yakking about. They are really starting to grasp at straws here. An article by Dean Barnett titled "Would You Hire Barack Obama?" calls him a "chronic underachiever" and dismisses almost everything he's done:

It's when Obama leaves law school in 1991 that his résumé starts raising questions. He didn't begin a full-time job until 1993. Between 1991 and 1993, Obama divided his time between lecturing at the University of Chicago Law School, writing a book, and returning to his pre-law school activity, community organizing.

With childish hobbies such as University lectures, community organizing and penning an autobiography, there's only one word to describe Obama's refusal to get a 9 to 5: lazy.

What is striking about Obama's résumé circa 2004, as he began his U.S. Senate campaign, then, is that 13 years out of law school, he had yet to commit himself to one line of work. More important, potential employers would wonder about a gulf between the ability Obama showed at Harvard and his actual accomplishments. Obama never made it beyond lecturer at Chicago, where he wrote no scholarly articles. He wrote one book, then stopped writing for over a decade.

Outrage! I demand a Tom Clancy level of output from Obama. Who does he think he is--JD Salinger?!

Bill Kristol, born into wealth, privilege and politics, doesn't think Obama has accomplished much. He writes:

Here is Obama's résumé: an Ivy League law degree, a few years of community organizing, seven years in the Illinois senate, three and a half years as a U.S. senator. Kind of modest.

Modest? What does Bill think of the rest of us? Of course, Bill finds George W. Bush to be a great President. Bush was a failed businessman and a drunk until he was pushing 40. Modest indeed.

The Green Convention

The DNC says this is the greenest convention in history. It seems laughable on its face. While they are doing an incredible amount to offset their carbon footprint, I remain a bit skeptical that they are beating out conventions that took place before the invention of the incandescent light bulb.

Friday: Noun, Verb, POW

Exiled

You may have seen the MTV show "Sweet Sixteen." It was the one where the most privileged, annoying children on Earth spend more on their sixteenth birthday party than most American families earn in a year. As if to atone for the sin of creating that show (but actually just milk the success of it) they have created Exiled, a show where the Sweet Sixteeners, now around 18, are "exiled" for a whole week to live with poor indigenous people.

I caught part of the preview show where the girls are informed by their parents that they won't have access to their multiple cars or shoe closet for a few days. One guy sat down his rich daughter and told her she would be headed to the Amazon to live with an indigenous tribe.

And then, I shit you not, this exchange took place:

Daughter: Have they seen people before?

Father: They are people.

There's a dystopian sci-fi/action movie formula someone works into a film every 8 years or so that involves inmates exiled to some crazy prison island who must battle it out in arenas or on racetracks in brutal life or death spectacles to win back their freedom.

Someone should take these kids' new cars, outfit them with machine guns and make them enter Death Race. I'd watch that show.

Fair Warning

We have about two months left until the election. Expect a lot of election toons. It's (amazingly) not clear who is going to win and I have to get all the comic ideas I have on these turds down on paper before one retreats to the shadows in the shame of defeat.

Camp Kafka

Cross-posted at the ACLU's Blog of Rights.

In Franz Kafka’s 1925 novel, The Trial, a man awakens to be suddenly arrested and put on trial for an unspecified crime in a court where no evidence is presented. Hey, at least he got a trial! Most detainees at Guantánamo Bay are still waiting to defend themselves against their crimes — real or imaginary.

In my latest Civil Discourse comic I riff on the unsettling fact that there is a super secret detention camp within Guantanamo Bay called "Camp 7." Somehow, they have even less rights in that camp. Who knows--maybe there's another prison inside that one!

I look forward to the day when we don’t have to use the words "Orwellian" and "Kafka-esque" to describe our treatment of detainees in the "War on Terror." Maybe the next President will try to live up to the writings Jefferson instead of Kafka.

Turd of the Day

Here's one for you. Barack has big ears. Funny, huh?

This would have been lame a year and a half ago.

(click here to view)

d.rano Conway & Berlin Daily Suns, … Aug 25, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

Foreign Oil

Drilling has become a huge issue even though everyone agrees we won't see the effects for quite some time and it will be a minimal effect at that. People want to get off "foreign" oil and get to drilling our oil in the good 'ol USA. As far as I'm aware, it burns the same. But it has the mental effect of looking like we are doing something--anything--to achieve energy independence. Perhaps driving around on a full tank of American Offshore Gas can become a source of national pride akin to watching Michael Phelps win gold medals.

Wednesday: The Greenest Convention Ever

No Sweat

While Olympic athletes are raking in millions for their hard work, it's always good to remember the hard, thankless work that props up the giant companies that can afford to give athletes such money.

Clothing and shoes are mostly made in Asian countries by people who work for a pittance, often extremely low wages even in their poverty-racked countries.

In the late 90's Nike tried to improve its image of using sweatshop labor by moving to better factories. But this report from an Australian news station just last month shows how forced labor (not simply sweatshop conditions) is used to this day to produce some of Nike's goods. It's not a Nike factory itself, but a contractor--some Malaysian sweatshop they don't own so they can turn their head to the human rights conditions. Its truly appalling.

Nike is looking into the problems, of course.

Monday: The Dangers Foreign Oil

The 21st Century Marches On

ACLU: "More than 200,000 US public school students were punished by beatings during the 2006-2007 school year, Human Rights Watch and the American Civil Liberties Union said in a joint report released today. In the 13 states that corporally punished more than 1,000 students per year, African-American girls were twice as likely to be beaten as their white counterparts."

Smells Like Moron

Things like this don't seem to be going away:

Ivan Stickles, a carpenter, worked on his motorcycle in his driveway in Hopewell. Mr. Stickles, 57, is not taking what he sees as a gamble on Obama.

“There’s this e-mail that he didn’t shake hands with the troops,” Mr. Stickles said of a rumor that is false. “I don’t have the time to check out if it’s true, but if it is, it’s very offensive.”

I'm with Brian McFadden on this one. Don't Vote, Stupid!

Friedman

Thomas Friedman has trouble writing things that make sense. He starts today's column this way:

If the conflict in Georgia were an Olympic event, the gold medal for brutish stupidity would go to the Russian prime minister, Vladimir Putin. The silver medal for bone-headed recklessness would go to Georgia’s president, Mikheil Saakashvili, and the bronze medal for rank short-sightedness would go to the Clinton and Bush foreign policy teams.

Is the conflict a single event or, as it appears, three separate events? If so, they could all have gold in each category.

Clinton and Bush foreign policy teams shared the bronze in an apparent tie for "rank short-sightedness." Who got gold and silver?

A few months ago he wrote this about the myriad of problems facing the country:

The first rule of holes is when you’re in one, stop digging. When you’re in three, bring a lot of shovels.

When you write a column, bring an editor along. Give 'em a shovel. They'll win a medal.

McCain Nation

Being a best selling author is becoming easier and easier. Fake memoirs have been all the rage in recent years. Make some shit up, slap it between two covers and call it a memoir. Next stop, Oprah!

Memoir not your thing? Try political smear books. After Jerome Corsi literally wrote the book on swiftboating, he's been asked back on the major networks to talk about his latest on Barack Obama. Do networks have an obligation to give a discredited liar a platform?

This man isn't even your standard Malkin-level right-wing turd. He's off the charts. He belongs to the whacked-out Christian nationalist Constitution Party and is a 9/11 conspiracy theorist. And an Anti-Semite. Oh, and he thinks the Earth produces an infinite supply of oil. Really.

I have a similar theory about bullshit, mouths, and television.

Friday: A New World Record

Understanding Comics

In case you didn't know comics were supposed to be read from left to right, this cartoon has handy arrows for its three panels.

(click here to view)

Robert Unell Kansas City Star Aug 19, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

One thing really isn't clear: Why does "Beijing 2008" simply disappear in the second panel? Who took it? What happened in between those panels?!

Ill Communication

I'm reading "The Art of Ill Will: The Story of American Political Cartoons" by Donald Dewey. I love that title. It's a coffee table book that collects cartoons spanning American history, including works by Ben Franklin, Thomas Nast, Theodor Geisel (Dr. Suess), Jules Feiffer and Ted Rall.

How far have political cartoons evolved over the years? Many of them haven't come far at all. Cartoons from a hundred years ago could stand along side today's with their ham-fisted humor and copious labeling.

The front section of the book features a detailed history of political cartoons and I thought this passage deserved scanning in. It is a quote from William Murrell written in 1935.



The imaginations of artists have failed miserably as most still cling to these elderly symbols.

The historical context of using these type of visual cues, beginning with Ben Franklin's snake, is that most people were illiterate at the time. In my view, this makes the Donkey and Elephant symbols more irrelevant.

Cartoonists should assume some intelligence on the part of their readers and ease up with the over reliance on symbols and labeling.

Bill Mauldin's cartoons on World War II were widely celebrated for showing the human face of war in Willie and Joe--while his peers used the old cliché from World War I, Death with a scythe. It never gets old and today's cartoonists simply place the cloaked harbinger of death in the latest conflict zone and win the accolades of editors for creating a powerful cartoon.

Is this simply the language of editorial cartoons or a laziness on the part of creators to never push the craft forward? And by "forward" I mean "beyond the 19th century."

Stan McDougle

Obama seems like he's having trouble breaking from McCain in the polls. Could race be a factor?

Out and out racists were never planning on voting for Obama. But a lot of Americans have that low-grade racism running through their veins. They're cool with a black person as long as they seem "normal." Start piling on the otherness factors--a Muslim father, "foreign" name, Reverend Wright, an educated wife that isn't blonde--and suddenly they are "unsure" about him.

Perhaps Stan McDougle is a black man they could bring themselves to vote for.

Wednesday: McCain Nation

Bermuda Beltway

I wasn't going to toon about the Edwards affair, but after my last comic I wanted to expand on the idea of Barack being the last major male politician to have remained faithful to his wife (he's young, give it time.) I really hope he can keep his dick in his pants. Edwards is going to have trouble showing his face again without people throwing tomatoes at it.

When pundits say with certainty that Edwards' political career is over I just don't understand where they are getting this from. Newt Gingrich, John McCain and Rudy Giuliani have all had mistresses that became their wives after treating their previous wives like shit--informing them of breakups on live TV or their hospital beds. Ouch!

I actually caught a segment of Hannity & Comes where Colmes brought up McCain's douchebag move of cheating on and leaving his wife after she was mangled in a car wreck. Hannity went ballistic and started yelling "he was tortured for five years!"

Also, I made an error in this comic. The child is actually a female. The few reports I read didn't note the sex of the child and I've seen numerous cartoons with the child having Edwards hair so I assumed it was male. I apologize for spreading this vicious misinformation.

Monday: Stan McDougle: Black President

Kill Bill?

A rap group called the East Coast Avengers has a song out called "Kill Bill O' Reilly." It's as subtle as it sounds. Complete with gunshot sound effects, this one is sure to drive Bill over the edge. Make sure to catch the end. They put Bill's Inside Edition meltdown to a beat.

Hillary Praises Obama

Looks like the tension between the Clinton and Obama camps hasn't cooled yet. Hillary's supporters want to put her name in at the convention for "catharsis." I suppose that's necessary for people whose egos prevent them from accepting the observable reality that they lost.

Speaking of egos, John Edwards. We'll discuss him Friday in The Bermuda Beltway of Infidelity.

The Sixth Nonsense

Cross-posted at the ACLU's Blog of Rights.

There’s now over a million names on the government’s "Terrorist Watch List." In a previous Civil Discourse comic I wondered why small children with common names like "Robert Johnson" are questioned. Today’s comic deals with even more baffling suspects: dead people!

The 9/11 Hijackers made it onto the list only after they killed themselves in the attack that prompted the Bush Administration to go crazy and start throwing everyone from Ted Kennedy to Cat Stevens on the list! The currently deceased deposed dictator of Iraq, Saddam Hussein, is on the watch list. Yes, that’s right. Who knows what kind of experimental toxin or magic spell could awaken Saddam’s evil corpse. If/when this happens, he will no doubt catch a First Class flight to the States. That’s when we nab him!

Keep an eye out for any other dead enemies of the state on your flights. Timothy McVeigh, John Wilkes Booth or Benedict Arnold may take to the skies any day now.

China

"I'd go against a tank wit a shank for my dreams" -Dead Prez



Now that the President removed his head from Michael Phelp's ass, it looks like he made his way home to comment on that war that broke out in Georgia. I'm sure our moral authority as a nation will carry a lot of weight in halting the conflict.

I recently caught this documentary called "Tank Man" about the famous Chinese man who stood in front of the tanks in Tiananmen Square. It's broken up in several parts on YouTube. Check this segment around 8:40 for an insight into today's college students in Beijing. When shown the Tank Man photo--one of the most recognizable photographs in the history of the world--they literally have no idea what it is. One guesses that it might be a parade.

I'd probably place the percentage of college-age Americans who can identify it below 25% since it didn't occur in the last five minutes, but Chinese citizens have an excuse for their ignorance. China has a memory hole apparatus that makes MiniTruth look like Nader's Raiders--all with the help of Google and Yahoo! who collaborate to ban search results in the country.

Don't expect any athlete to make a significant statement about human rights. Chinese athletes would probably get shot--Americans probably have a rider in their Speedo contracts never to open their mouths to say anything other than how great their products are.

The Olympics aren't a time for politics. Save that for the public square.

Celebrity Muslim Ukulele Player

Last week, mentioning you were black was playing the race card. Now Obama taking a week off in Hawaii is a visit to a foreign land! Cokie Roberts on This Week:

[The vacation] does not make any sense whatsoever. I know his grandmother lives in Hawaii and I know Hawaii is a state, but it has the look of him going off to some sort of foreign, exotic place. He should be in Myrtle Beach, and, you know, if he's going to take a vacation at this time.

To get the not-so-subtle message in this, all we have to do is plug John McCain's name into the quote and ask ourselves if we can imagine anyone saying that.

It blows my mind that these people have jobs.

Driving Mr. Bush

After seven years of the so-called War On Terror, we successfully prosecuted Osama Bin Laden's driver and sentenced him to five and a half years in prison.

What penalty should Bush's driver face?

I have a sketch I did for this one with blue pencil on 8.5 x 11 typing paper. If you would like to buy it for $20, shoot me an e-mail.

Wednesday: Hillary Praises Obama

Hey, I Hold Lots of Kids!

John Edwards cheated on his wife, sure. But that kid isn't his. It's that other dude's from his campaign. Who knows why there is no father listed on the birth certificate. And that grainy picture of him holding a kid?

"I don't know if that picture is me," Edwards said. "It could well be. It looks like me. I don't know who that baby is...Do you know how many pictures have been taken of me holding children in the last three years? I mean it happens all the time."

Edwards finally told Woodruff that he did not remember a baby being present at the meeting last month in California.

Sounds like he prepped for the interview with Alberto Gonzalez.

John Edwards has revealed himself to be a reckless liar. If I were Elizabeth, I'd cut his balls off and take them to the nearest lab for a paternity test.

hmmm

So I'm assuming John Edwards won't be the Vice President.

Why Aren't There More Female Cartoonists?

Jen Sorensen has a column at Campus Progress discussing the bristol board barrier women face:

We’re something of a rare breed. Exact statistics are difficult to find—even the national group Association of American Editorial Cartoonists can only estimate the national number of political cartoonists, let alone break them down by gender, ethnicity, or class. But to give you a rough idea, of the association’s 185 current regular members, only 15 are women. I’m one of them

Regrettable Ads

It's hard to imagine the process of this ad from concept to approval without anyone raising an eyebrow, no?

Edit: reading the fine print, the text is fake. But...they still took that photo. I hope it's not just my sick mind that thinks it's a little weird.

Also, Greyhound has pulled an ad campaign featuring this slogan: "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage."' I guess it seemed dated.


(via)

Race Card

After decades of playing to racial fears of Americans during election season, conservatives have accused Obama of playing the race card. His crime? mentioning that he doesn't look like the guys on the dollars bills. In other words, stating a fact.

How audacious. People are eager to elect a black man and that's not fair to white people!

Pat Buchanan wrote recently about how great "black folks" have had it.

America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

See Obama? Drop that African sounding name and get yourself an American one to go along with your freedom.

Monday: Driving Mr. Bush

Get My Gitmo Cell Ready!

Today concludes the first military commissions trial at the Guantanamo Bay concentration camp. Salim Hamdan, Osama Bin Laden's former driver, was convicted of providing material support for terrorism and acquitted of a greater conspiracy charge. He faces life in prison.

Which brings me to my latest comic.

Through the miracle of e-mail forwarding technology, the comic made its way down to Gitmo last week and into the hands of his lawyers. The cartoon was translated for Hamdan and I'm told he was quite amused.

At first I was excited. I have been spilling ink on Gitmo for years--now my comics actually made it past their defenses on to the land where iguanas have more rights than humans. Then reality set in...

This puts 2 degrees of separation between me and Bin Laden (and only 3 for anyone who has met me--MUWAHAHA!) With the flimsy standards of evidence preferred by the Bush administration, does this mean I could be tried in a military tribunal for giving aid and comforting humor to the enemy?

I hope they let me have pens and paper in my cell.

Driving Mr. Bin Laden

Trillions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of lives lost. But hey, Osama Bin Laden's driver is on trial at Gitmo. I'm sure he's on the edge of his seat waiting for the verdict. In the unlikely case he is found innocent, he will still be escorted back to his cell until the cessation of hostilities between America and Terror. This is a show trial.

From the NYTimes:

Mr. Hamdan’s offenses are not enumerated anywhere, but appear to include checking the oil and the tire pressure.

Republicans: feel free to associate Obama's suggestion to inflate our tires with Al Qaeda.

Friday: The Race Card

The Future of News

Not to be confused with the Angelina Jolie page.

Doodle

I went to the Pickathon Festival this weekend and drew this:

Let The Games Begin!

Some in Congress expressed outrage that China was spying on Internet use in hotels for the Olympics. Why the sudden concern for Civil Liberties?

Wednesday: Driving Mr. Bin Laden

Shout, Shout, Let It All Out

These are the things I can do without. Some people interrupted an Obama speech by holding up a banner that read "What about the black community, Obama?" while chanting said phrase. The crowd's response was to stand and shout "Yes We Can!" over and over.

Yes We Can...what? Address the black community? Sit down and shut up? Win a shouting war?

I love the mindlessness of crowds.

What could McCain supporters yell to drown out hecklers? "That's Not Change We Can Believe In! That's Not Change We Can Believe In!" If they all grinned like McCain, the hecklers would probably run out screaming.

Save Amy Winehouse!

1/3 metaphor for the mortgage bailout, 1/3 commentary on the Iraq War, 1/3 actual suggestion to save Ms. Winehouse.

Monday: Oppression Olympics