Career Opportunities

Generational Warfare ain't what it used to be.

Illustration Friday--on Sunday!

All sorts of fun noises were coming from a bathroom stall.



Someone hands some fans a pair of free Angels tickets.

Late Update

Here's last Wednesday's comic. Can a prolonged recession curb our impulse to buy gifts for people that they don't like, want or need? We shall see.

Holiday In Cambodia

If you are reading this then I haven't found an internet connection on my annual Thanksgiving retreat to the Oregon coast. More likely, I'm enjoying these few days off so thoroughly I haven't bothered to look for one. See my latest cartoon over at comics.com and have a great holiday.

MC Bors

I thought I'd spit a verse for the Side Hug Rap. I'm sorry. I love this.

Check it. Yo. Yo.

From "Let There Be Light" 'til JC come back/ touching groins while huggin' is straight whack/ A sin, in fact.

Sexual repression is the lesson/ hugs got my body stressin'/ don't need no frontal pressin'/ only that lateral affection.

I rep virgin pride, dun/ I hug from the side some/ The same place the Romans stabbed Christ when he died, son.

The Side Hug Code

Disciples have been straight up side hugging the shit out of each other since the Last Supper.

Disciples was like, "Yo, Jesus. Why the fuck are we all on one side of the table? I mean, why not spread out like normal folks and use that other side?"

And Jesus was all like, "So we can side hug, fucka."

The Side Hug: Putting all other hugs on notice.

Side Hugs Rule Everything Around Me

It's noon where I'm sitting. This should have 5 million views by 6, be auto-tuned by 7, and brutally parodied by tomorrow morning.

The Cult

Frightening.

Catholic Consistency

NYTimes:

Representative Patrick J. Kennedy of Rhode Island said on Sunday that the Roman Catholic bishop of Providence had instructed him to refrain from receiving communion because of his stance on abortion.
...
“In light of the church’s clear teaching, and your consistent actions,” the letter said, “I believe it is inappropriate for you to be receiving holy communion and I now ask respectfully that you refrain from doing so.”

Another letter was sent to everyone who has ever attended his church. “In light of the church’s clear teachings on war, materialism, lying, supporting war and helping the sick and poor," it read, "it is inappropriate for a single person to show up for communion ever again."

"Please return when you are as Christly as me," the bishop wrote.

Predator Stork

The "Pro-Life" movement should be more consistent.

See a related cartoon here.

Wednesday: Holiday In Cambodia

9/11 trials, again

I'm compelled to post again about the 9/11 trials. I've been having trouble wrapping my head around the objections. Evidence, charges, trial, punishment. Seems like an ingenious process to me.

Charles Krauthmmer complains:

September 11, 2001 had to speak for itself. A decade later, the deed will be given voice. KSM has gratuitously been presented with the greatest propaganda platform imaginable -- a civilian trial in the media capital of the world -- from which to proclaim the glory of jihad and the criminality of infidel America.

We faced Hitler and Hirohito but can't handle a rant from a jihadist! I might rewrite that paragraph this way: September 11, 2001 had to speak for itself. A decade later, the victims will finally see justice. The United States has gratuitously presented itself with the greatest propaganda platform imaginable -- a civilian trial in the media capital of the world -- from which to proclaim the glory of the US Justice System and the criminality of terrorists.

Though he does have a point here:

Moreover, everyone knows that whatever the outcome of the trial, KSM will never walk free. He will spend the rest of his natural life in U.S. custody. Which makes the proceedings a farcical show trial from the very beginning.

Exactly. Trying someone who seems clearly guilty but was tortured in detainment for years presents some issues. Maybe we shouldn't do that anymore.

Illustration Friday

A driver hits a biker, then berates him.

And an idiot gets T-boned making a U-turn--while ogling a girl on the sidewalk.

Impeach

The majority of Republicans believe ACORN stole the election for Obama. We are dealing with some serious crazy here.

9/11 Trials

All the hysteria over trying the alleged 9/11 plotters in our courts reminded me of this comic from last year. We are some jailing motherfuckers here. What are they so worried about?

Beyond Obits!

I'm going to have to ban Streeter cartoons from this blog so others have a fair chance to compete for turds, but--and I could just be seeing things--this appears to be a cartoon noting that a guy who died decades ago would have turned 100 today. Let me know if I'm missing something because this seems incredible even for Streeter.

Why stop at the celebrity obit when you can keep marking their cloud-tastic birthday ever year? Here's to 101, Johnny!

(click here to view)

MStreeter Savannah Morning News Nov 18, 2009 EditorialCartoonists.com

Zero Sum

We differ slightly on the justice system.

I was having a conversation with my crazy conservative friend about the trials for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and others that will take place in New York. It went something like this:

Crazy Conservative Friend: It's a disgrace we are trying them in this country.

Me: Why--don't you think our legal system will deliver justice?

CCF: They don't deserve the rights of American citizens. They are prisoners of war!

Me: If they are guilty of crimes why not put them on trial? I'd like to try and convict them. You'd like to hold onto them forever without charges.

CCF: No, I don't. They should be kicked out of a helicopter over a---over a chasm. We can watch them splatter and cheer!

Me: Surely there should be trials before the helicopter drop, right?

CCF: No! Fuck 'em. It's Al Qaeda. They want to kill us!

Me: Then how do you determine who to drop out of helicopters?

CCF: It's Al Qaeda! They want to kill us!

Me: So...what's the weather like out there?

Priorities

I've been listening to talk radio all day while I work. Rush Limbaugh is interviewing Sarah Palin and they are talking about how to recapture Congress and the White House, stop the Democratic agenda, health care, jobs, deficits, war and global warming.

Granted, they are morons.

But on progressive talk, Thom Hartmann is talking about JFK conspiracy theories and just went to break telling us that next we will learn how Dick Cheney fits into it. I'm not kidding.

Comics Journal #300

For the The Comics Journal's 300th issue they invited established cartoonists to have discussions with up and coming artists who started working after the Journal began in 1977. The issue features the likes of Art Spiegelman, Frank Quitely, David Mazzucchelli, Alison Bechdel and Keith Knight. I was honored when they asked me to participate with Ted Rall to represent editorial cartoons. As a starting point, we were told to talk about the differences that have occurred in the field since we both began cartooning.

The result was an exhaustive 12,000 word discussion on the state of the industry, how we began, the future of print and web, awards, influences, and plenty of dirt dishing. We even did a collaborative cartoon for the Journal. Read it all here.

Update: Free access to the issue has been pulled for some reason. I don't think the print edition comes out until December. I'll post about it when it does.

You only die once

The Oregonian:

It was supposed to be Hugh Ackroyd's wake. And maybe the best part of Sunday afternoon was the fact that Hugh Ackroyd is not dead.

The man who made a career out of shooting photos of barges and ships and boxcars is 96 years old. He planned his wake, and he wasn't embarrassed to admit it.

"Well, why not?" he said. "Why bother when (I'm) dead?"

Just sayin'

NYTimes headline: Money Trickles North as Mexicans Help Relatives

Ahem.

The Smart Jihadist

Al Qaeda could ensure the deaths of thousands of Americans simply by delaying health care reform for a few months. In fact, they should buy shares in health insurance companies and take a vacation. No need to get dusty and sweaty learning to disassemble AK-47s in 140º heat when we let our own die in record numbers from lack of access to--and denial of--health insurance.

The cost of our foreign adventurism in Afghanistan runs $1 million per soldier, per year. Most legislators don't bat an eyelid at that mountain of smoldering money. Whatever it takes, they say. Yet providing a robust (the choice word these days) public option is too much of a bother for Democrats, not to mention the lesser forms of scum that inhabit the Senate such as Joe Lieberman.

War Is Bureaucratic

David Axe tries to get a few days extension on his Afghanistan visa.

Go to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Kabul, they said. “Will it be difficult?” I asked. “No problem, my friend, no problem,” they said.

The words raised hairs on my neck. In the Third World, whenever someone says, “No problem, my friend, no problem,” what they mean is, “Yes, this will be a huge problem.” Keep Reading.

Do as we Tweet

From the December Harper's Index

Number of U.S. states that have banned texting while driving: 27
Number of these states that offer traffic updates via Twitter: 25

Illustration Friday

The Roberts Court for the ACLU.

American Massacre Comix

Think of it as a Jump To Conclusions Mat for the media.

Ink

"...it contains content that ridicules public figures"

Judging from Apple's response to this tame caricature app, political cartoons with jokes and opinions may not be welcome.

Slacking for America

Worker productivity is up. But people are more productive because they are fearful of losing their job and have no option other than to take on the duties of their fired co-workers. Pretty much everyone I know who isn't already unemployed faces this problem. They do more work than ever while accepting to wage freezes, pay cuts and furloughs.

Still, some economists were encouraged by the productivity report. They say that eventually, employers won't be able to squeeze more from their staffs. They will then have to ramp up hiring — something that could happen next year, even though the jobless rate is expected to hit double digits.

The good news in all this? Companies will reach the limit of how much work they can physically pile on top of their employees sometime next year! Maybe!

Wednesday: American Massacre Comix

Googled

Ken Auletta is the author of the new book "Googled: The End of the World as We Know It." He was on CNN's Reliable Sources today and had an interesting anecdote about how some in "new media" argue exposure is the ultimate payment.

KURTZ: Did one of the founders -- did I get this right -- of Google ask you why you didn't just publish your book online?

AULETTA: Yes. In my second interview with co-founder Sergey Brin, he came in on his rollerblades and he threw his knapsack down on the table and he said, "Ken, let me ask you a question." He said, "Why don't you just publish a book for free online and get a much larger audience for it?"

And I said, "Well, I might get a larger audience, but who's going to pay me an advance so I have money to live on since I'm on leave from "The New Yorker" to do this? And by the way, Sergey, who's going to edit my book and who's going to do an index? And who's going to market it? And who's going to pay for my expenses to come out here as many times I'm coming out here?"

And, of course, at that point, Sergey Brin changed the subject.

Women and children and bankers first

AP:

Some of New York's biggest companies, including Wall Street giants Goldman Sachs and Citigroup, received doses of swine flu vaccine for at-risk employees, drawing criticism that the hard-to-find vaccine is going first to the privileged.

In fact, 1,200 doses at Citigroup. Apparently a lot of children and pregnant women work there.

Turd Of The Day

In case you don't understand from the speech balloon, the exact same thing is written on the paper.

(click here to view)

John R. Rose Byrd Newspapers of Virginia Nov 6, 2009 EditorialCartoonists.com

Ballsy commentary.

W1T1F1

I suppose the upside of being swept off the street, hooded, bound, flown to Cuba, tortured and imprisoned without charge is that you won't catch that nasty flu going around.

Illustration Friday

Most of the illustrations I post on Fridays are for OC Weekly's "Hey You!" feature I do every week. From now on I'll link to the full articles in my descriptions for those who are interested. Not sure why I haven't done it before.

Some rude moviegoers thought they had the right to occupy multiple seats.



And a rude jewelry vendor seemed intent on scaring away potential customers.

Words to live by

I found a link to the latest Overcompensating strip (a consistently funny webcomic) on religion and in the accompanying blog post the author writes about Maine's bigot-folk happily denying rights to gays in the recent election:

It's a good thing there isn't a commandment in the Decalogue that simply says "Don't Be an Asshole," because a lot of American Christians would be in trouble right about now.

I had to laugh because staring at me from my office wall was one of my favorite cartoons. If only the founders had included it in the Constitution.

Official Commentary

It would be stupid for an opinion monger like me not to make sweeping statements on last night's election results that crush all other uninformed, ill-advised pundits blabbering on the subject. Here's my Official Commentary:

SHOW ME THE MONEY: Bloomberg won, Corzine lost. This shows public support of gazillionaire douchebags is teetering. They are going to have to accrue more wealth--and be willing to spend it on PR--if they hope to recover some of the losses we saw last night.

LOUD AND CLEAR: A Bors Blog exit poll shows 89% of voters yesterday said they don't eat eggplants regularly. Did eggplants get the message?

PHRASE OF THE DAY: "Fed Up"

Today I'll be saying this often: "Voters are Fed Up with [something I personally don't like right at the moment] and it's only going to get worse in 2010!!!" (Note: As of this posting I'm using "being out of coffee" as I am rather perturbed by this development and would like to give it national focus.)


THE DAY: is Wednesday.

INFALLIBLE PREDICTION: Last night's elections for governor seem to suggest the trend of electing governors will continue in the Republic.

Consider me vexed

The New York Times has a piece assessing how well Obama has delivered on his campaign promises. Under "Terrorism Suspects" they note he has yet to close Guantánamo and gripe:

Most vexing: the unwillingness of other countries to accept large numbers of detainees and the administration’s inability to find locations in the United States to transfer prisoners for release or prosecution in the face of protests by lawmakers in both political parties.

Yes, truly the most vexing thing about our abduction and torture camp is the fact that other nations refuse to step up and take responsibility for it!

Slave Care Reform

Abe Lincoln was unpopular and didn't have 60 votes in the Senate. How did that man get things done?

The hijackers survived?

(click here to view)

Nate Beeler Washington Examiner Nov 3, 2009 EditorialCartoonists.com

Blood In The Boardroom

Profits and bonuses are back. Jobs aren't.