Fairness And Equality in the Blogosphere!

Glenn Foden wanted me to post his original e-mail to me in the interest of "fair dialogue." Fair enough:

Hey, Matt
So, you think the cartoon I did about CA's gay marriage thing was "crap." Curious, and unfamiliar with your work, I checked out your stuff. You've done some interesting work. Nice But, if my cartoon bothered someone of your political ilk, I won't be losing any sleep, I'll just be drawing harder. We all grab our energy any place we can. Thanks for the boost. Seriously, keep it up though. The country needs all voices.

Glenn

Glenn tells me he wasn't targeting gay people with his comic, but activist judges. He says, "Personally, I don't care what they do. And, if the citizens of California want to legalize it, God bless democracy."

I'm glad Glenn is more open minded than I had him pegged. I'd like to build on this relationship. If we get a 51% majority here in Oregon to approve Pig Marriage, I'll fly Glenn out to officiate my wedding (to a female pig--I'm no pig homo).

Man/Animal Marriage

Cartoonist are a pretty self-obsessed lot. They all have Google alerts on their names so when I post Turd Awards or something, half of the artists write me to bitch and moan. Take last week when I linked to a smelly piece of poop by Glenn Foden about how gay marriage may lead to legalized pig fucking. Glenn wrote that he didn't care much what someone from my side of the tracks thought of his work and that the public denigration just motivated him to work harder. What can-do spirit!

Well, Glenn in turn inspired me with the thoughtful legal and philosophical points put forth in his fine work so I thought I'd expound on Man/Animal Marriage myself.

Monday: The Subliminal Jihadist Threat

Redacted

The ACLU is involved in a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit against the CIA for refusing to comply with their requests for documents relating to waterboarding detainees and the international archipelago of CIA black sites set up by Presidential Directive.

Tuesday they gave in and released some documents. Boy, what a score! Just check out how informative these documents are! Study carefully. There will be a test.

I guess they ran out of black marker so decided to omit huge chunks, saying they were "denied in full." Notice how the page below is fully redacted except for the phrase "Water Board." It's as if they wanted to taunt us: hey, look what this document has to do with...too bad you can't see it!

"Even a cursory glance at these heavily-redacted documents shows that the CIA is still withholding a great deal of information that should be released," said Jameel Jaffer, Director of the ACLU National Security Project.

That's quite an understatement.

One From The Vault

Here's the first comic I drew of Scott McClellan back in 2004. Oh Scotty, how I have missed you.

I never would have thought McClellan would be denounced by Fox News and Karl Rove, but it's fun to watch him be at the other end of a smear campaign designed to suppress the truth. (Have you heard his publisher put out a book by George Soros?) If only he wasn't making a handsome sum doing it.

The last six months of Scott's job were painful to watch. Day in and day out he was hammered on the Valerie Plame affair and had nothing much to offer except stammering denials and a sweaty brow. Maybe he was so embarrassed that he felt the need to redeem himself. Maybe he just wanted the money. Whatever the case, McClellan lied so hard for so long that he can never make things right.

Bad Toon of the Day

Ahhh, the good ol' labeling the flood waters trick. Always good for a quick cartoon on a deadline.

(click here to view)

Stephen Templeton Flathead Beacon MT May 29, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

Dept. of Fish and Game

Jonah Goldberg's column in the LA Times today is titled simply "Michelle Obama is fair game." He goes after Barack for saying critics should "lay off my wife."

In a democracy, finding criticism unacceptable is a surefire way to drive yourself bonkers.

Jonah last month:

I find Darwin fish offensive.

Lights Out

Hillary's been doing a great job of destroying her chances at all three of the justifications for her still being in the race: bowing out gracefully, shoehorning herself into the VP slot and actually winning, as impossible as that is.

At this point she would have been better off sticking with "the race isn't over until someone has all the delegates" mantra. Instead, her reasoning has become increasingly bizarre: RFK got shot in June, Florida is now Zimbabwe, she's actually ahead in the vote count and if Democrats elected nominees like the Republicans she would have won already.

And if Democrats ran primaries the way Saddam Hussein did, her Michigan victory would be all that more impressive.

On Sunday she was down in Puerto Rico calling for Obama to debate her before the vote in a few days. After about 20 debates we got the picture. Hillary and her followers love to taunt Barack's refusal to debate yet again. But for all her rhetoric about letting the voters hear the candidates out before deciding, she refused to debate her primary challenger, Jonathan Tasini, a single time in the 2006 New York Senate race. Does this bother Hillary's hardcore supporters or do they simply think she's the only one it's ok to coronate?

Friday: Having Sex With Animals

The BS XPress

Before the general election even officially begins, the presidential race has devolved into a contest to see who can promise Americans the most extravagant, unrealistic changes. Until recently Obama was winning by claiming that he would change planet Earth itself.

But McCain, who describes himself as an "idealistic realist," made his 2013 speech promising that Bin Laden would be vanquished, Iraq stable, the troops home, the economy booming, no more terrorist attacks, Iran and North Korea neutralized, Darfur saved and of course, low taxes--all by the end of his first term. I had to reach deep with references to Joe Lieberman and honey flowing through Baghdad to exaggerate his claims.

McCain used to deplore these "eloquent but empty" statements. In one victory speech, he asked if we would "heed appeals for change that ignore the lessons of history and lack confidence in the intelligence and ideals of free people." Now he is doing just that: insulting our intelligence and ignoring what history--and the laws if physics--tell us we can achieve in four short years.

Asked if his predictions were realistic, he said, “I don’t think it has anything to do with fantasy, I think it has everything to do with setting goals and achieving.’’

It's easy: the key to achieving goals is setting them. Hey, I just set a goal to run faster than any man alive. Catch me in Beijing this summer!

Wednesday: Hillary's Latest Excuse

Industry Collapse, Now On Google

Via Kevin Allman, a blog called Graphic Designer has created an interactive Google Map called PaperCuts that painfully tracks layoffs in the newspaper industry.

It notes that 2,000 jobs were cut in the last seven months of 2007 and over 3,000 so far this year. The numbers don't seem to include alt weeklies which are contracting (or collapsing) as well, I assume because their layoffs wouldn't be reported given the small staff they have to begin with. I've noticed illustration budgets being hacked to the bone and in some cases virtually eliminated in an attempt to stave of death.

illo

I illustrated the cover of the Willamette Week's 2008 Drink Guide. This was the most fun I've had on an illustration in a while. Unfortunately I can't take credit for the concept. Designer Ben Mollica thought it up along with a cool title that reads from both directions. You can check out the final version (sans border) here.

Pork and Beans

Looks like Weezer figured out a pretty easy way to ensure their music video goes viral. It doesn't hurt that the song is about bucking the record industry.

Attack of the Hacks!

I'm no comedy genius, folks. But what passes for humor on most late night shows is laughable in a way they don't intend. Don't these people have paid staff that writes material for them? Even Bill Maher throws in a "Bill Clinton likes pussy" joke at every available opportunity (every time anyone mentions a Clinton in the same paragraph as any topic which can be tied to sex in two or three steps). The Lewinsky scandal happened a decade ago.

I remember talking to editorial cartoonist Clay Bennett at a convention about cartoons being spiked by editors. One of his was Bill Clinton wearing a shirt that said "I'm with stupid" pointing down. I couldn't believe an editor was lame enough to spike that--those cartoons dominated the late 90s. Then he told me he drew it in 1994. I struggled to understand what a Bill Clinton sex joke may sound like to virgin ears. I was a kid in '94 and do not remember a time when they were the cutting edge of comedy.

I am old enough to remember when "Bush doesn't know English" was new and funny. But will Jimmy Fallon still be telling it 2018?

Monday: McCain's Magic Carpet Ride

illos

Here's two illustrations I did for the ACLU Membership Conference. You may see them on some blog ads floating around the web.

Placebo Effect

Perhaps they don't have health care insurance or maybe just too much time and money on their hands. But people rely on increasingly dubious methods to improve their well being.

Want to get rid of that arthritis? Rub some Lemongrass root on your tummy while patting your head. People in the East have been doing this for centuries. Clears it right up.

Friday: Attack of the Hacks!

Nothing Like The Last Minute

When you get almost a month to vote by mail, it's always best to wait until it's too late to mail in the ballot and bike to the drop off a half hour before they are due!

I can't believe this thing has been going on this long and I'm just now voting in the primary.

Comics

Today's cartoon from Rob Rogers is great.

(click here to view)

Rob Rogers Pittsburgh Post-Gazette May 20, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

This comic by Glenn Foden is not great. It is crap.

(click here to view)

Glenn Foden BusinessandMedia.Org May 17, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

Also, The Washington Post has a time lapse video of Tom Toles drawing a comic if you're interested.

Civil Discourse: VIP Justice

cross-posted at the ACLU Blog

The latest Civil Discourse comic goes after the absurd 100-to-1 disparity in sentencing laws for crack cocaine. It goes like this: Trafficking crack cocaine (cheap and used primarily by the poor) can get you the same prison sentence as dealing 100 times the amount of powder cocaine (much more expensive).

There probably isn't a better example of the inequality in our criminal justice system and overzealous "War on Drugs."

What if all drug crimes were treated this way? You would have to deal 100 times the amount of high-potency marijuana that looks like a High Times centerfold to get the same sentence as the person caught with the brown dirtweed they grew in under their bed.

Perhaps we could expand this kind of sentencing disparity to ALL crimes to streamline the system. We could call it "VIP Justice" and have more lenient sentences for laws broken by wealthy people. Instead of "Three Strikes You're Out" they would face "Three Strikes No Big Deal — You'll Have Another Chance At Bat Next Inning" laws.

Or we could fix the 100-to-1 crack sentencing laws. Either way.

Lesser Known Voting Blocs

Now that it is increasingly clear Obama will be the Democratic nominee, some--including Hillary--are wondering if he can win over "hard-working" white people.

But Barack Obama showed up in white-ass Portland today and 75,000 people showed up. It looked like Woodstock! Granted, Oregon is different than West Virginia--we are elitist, by which I mean our beer tastes better than piss and the coffee better than mud.

I had no idea he was speaking when I flew in this afternoon from a weekend in Boise. Downtown thousands of people were snaking through the city in line for the event. I asked a young girl what was going on. She looked at me like I was insane. "Obama!!!" she screamed, trying to blast away my ignorance.

He spoke at the Waterfront Park and I could hear him from my apartment, about a mile away. My girlfriend and I rode our bikes down and caught the tail end of the speech as close as we could. In his closing line he said that if we voted for him we could change the entire planet! I would like to change the planet into gak. Is that possible?

My buddy Shannon Wheeler posted some photos of it.

The Times They Are A Changin'...Cartoons!

Today the New York Times switched the credit line on the cartoons for Signe Wilkinson and Rob Rogers. Mistakes happen but there should have been an easy indicator for the person laying out the text: the artist's signature. Unfortunately, for reasons they won't divulge, the Times goes in Photoshop and removes the signature of each and every cartoon they run. As far as I know, they are the only paper on Earth to do this.

Not only is it insulting, but pointless. I've asked numerous cartoonists whose work is run regularly in the Sunday Times why this happens and none have an answer. They all hate it.

Not that it matters in this situation, but both Signe and Rob are highly respected cartoonists with numerous awards under their belt. Signe has won a Pulitzer and snagged the RFK Journalism award last week. Would a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist be asked to put up with this level of ineptitude and insulting treatment of their craft? Perhaps instead of simply issuing a correction they could use this moment to reevaluate this stupid policy.

Update: A few artists have said that a lot of other publications do this and that the Times habitually gets the names and syndicates of the artist wrong. And the worst: apparently you don't even get paid for running in the Times as a cartoonist unless you catch it and send them a bill.

I'm Speechless

(click here to view)

Jeff Darcy The Plain Dealer May 18, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

Mind Go Boom

NARAL's endorsement of Obama has caused a stir from people who get upset when groups don't endorse the candidate they prefer. From the NYTimes:

The endorsement also drew a rebuke from Emily’s List, which endorses only women who support abortion rights and which has endorsed Mrs. Clinton. Ellen R. Malcolm, the president, said in a statement that it was “tremendously disrespectful” of Naral not to give Mrs. Clinton “the courtesy to finish the final three weeks of the primary process.”

There's about two or three things in that paragraph that blew my mind.

How To Be An Editorial Cartoonist

I

Taking a common metaphor or expression, labeling it, and then putting a caption explaining it has got to be one of the most frustrating things editorial cartoonists rely on. The need to caption something so obvious--the visual equivalent of hitting someone in the face with a sledgehammer--either shows a contempt for your audience or a startling level of insecurity in the artist.

Two well respected cartoonists, Dick Locher and this year's Pulitzer winner Michael Ramirez, have done good examples of this lately.

Locher draws "A Fly in the Ointment" with Jimmy Carter's head on the fly. Ramirez does a "Bats in the Belfry" comic with Iran and Hezbollah. I don't find either of the cartoons that good, but they could be improved by a factor of ten by simply removing the caption from the bottom and letting us figure it out for ourselves.

Monday: Lesser Known Voting Blocs

Knight Life

Fellow CWA member Keith Knight launched a daily auto-bio strip this month with United Feature Syndicate called "The Knight Life" I thought I'd plug. It's sort of a daily version of
his weekly "K Chronicles" strip but will most likely never feature him smoking crack with god, who appeared as a hamster. Despite that, it looks promising.

Copying Your Own Turd

Jeff Darcy combines two of the worst cliches today: The Fat Lady Singing and using American Idol as a metaphor for the presidential race. His Hillary caricature is good--I'm not sure why he needs to label her.

(click here to view)

Jeff Darcy The Plain Dealer May 15, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

But I thought it looked familiar. Indeed, Jeff was just regurgitating a concept he used only a week earlier!

In case you didn't know the fat viking lady opera singer was a "fat lady singing," he wrote it across her expansive chest.

(click here to view)

Jeff Darcy The Plain Dealer May 8, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

Isn't this where the Editor steps in and asks for a different concept? Jeff, when she finally bows out let's not "beat a dead horse" and do the opera gag again, ok?

Huff and Puff

Arianna Huffington has been flogging her claim that McCain didn't vote for Bush in 2000 since last week when she put it as the top story on her website (the ad for her hot-off-the-press book nearby urged you to click and "learn the truth" about McCain). Others at the dinner party have said it's true while McCain denies it. He said/She said. Need proof? No, just a blog.

It's not like a single vote, taken by itself, matters...and fresh off the racist smear campaign in the South Carolina primary I can't blame the man if he wrote in his own name.

I don't really see how it's that big of a deal, especially coming from Arianna, who has been taking the media to task over the last few months for focusing on ridiculous "character questions" that don't relate to issues.

But McCain's character is a big issue to her. She was a right-winger and lapped up McCain's claims of political purity until a few years ago. His embrace of Bush was a selling out of his principles, the story goes, so it's no longer acceptable to treat him as a maverick. Before it was OK.

"He's a war hero! He was tortured!" she exclaimed recently on The Colbert Report. But the John McCain of 2000 isn't on the ballot this time--he's changed, she informed those who weren't aware. Question: If he was, would that be a good thing? Was the McCain that she adored such a great guy?

I always thought the "Straight Talk Express" was a joke from the get-go not something that recently became hilarious.

Friday: How To Be A Hack

Turd of the Day

(out of four)

Today's cartoon by Gordon Campbell is such a piece of crap I feel the need to remark. First, the concept is complete hackery. Fortune cookies are supposed to tell the future, not things currently happening--it doesn't make sense.

The visual implies the only thing he even knows about Chinese people is that they put a fortune cookie in your Chow Mein at the Chinese take out place down the street from his office. Couldn't he come up with a better way to say "There was an Earthquake is China"? Since people already know that what's the point of this comic? In case you haven't turned on a television or looked at a newspaper, he was nice enough to write "China" on the cookie. This looks like an illustration that would accompany an article about the earthquake, not an editorial cartoon--it adds no commentary, no opinion, and no joke. Nothing. It shouldn't exist.

The font is horrible. The gradient is horrible. It contains no drawing whatsoever. Where did he get the image from? The very first result in a Google image search for "fortune cookie." Although he has mastered Photoshop enough to flip the original image.

Are there any standards in this profession?

(click here to view)

Gordon Campbell Freelance May 13, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

Where Are They Now?

The other night I caught a few minutes of wrestling on the tube. It reminded me of when I was in second grade and got really into wrestling for about six months. I wondered, what ever happened to the Ultimate Warrior? He was some bad ass dude that was wrecking everyone in the WWF at the time but didn't stick around to do Slim Jim commercials or get his own reality show.

So I googled him and it turns out he's making his living as a right-wing motivational speaker. He has a blog, naturally. He deems it so in-your-face aggressive that he has a corny warning before you enter.

I express my opinions in a mature, bold, blunt, and politically-incorrect fashion...

I am also NOT confused about my gender. I have no desire to tone down the nature of the sex I am. I am a male and am proud to be a man. I will often forcefully punctuate my points and positions on ideas and issues with manly language. I make no apologies.

Ug! Ultimate Warrior no like PC!

WARNING: forceful, manly punctuation ahead...very manly...

you've been warned....

!Aaargh!!@#!!Muscle!!@#!$!! Penis!!!

...


There, I feel better now. Obviously VH1 needs to follow Flavor of Love and Rock of Love with The Ultimate Warrior of Love. Really. I'd watch it.

The Market Has Spoken

The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker is now 50% off in DC airports.

Programming Note

The latest ACLU strip won't be up until next week. I guess they're launching all this important new stuff this week so I've taken a backseat.

Also, I will be presenting a slideshow of my work for their membership conference next month in DC. Scalia has been known to shown up in the past.

Clintonian

At this point I'm not even sure Hillary will deliver a concession speech.

Here's an e-mail from a very nice woman named Pam who took time out of her day to inform me about her rather insane views:

The press seems to handle Obama with kid gloves ...He certainly has become “One of Them” – a Washington Politician at his best. I am so surprised that he is able to pull the wool over people’s eyes with “eloquent”?? speaches that say nothing of substance. Maybe a cartoon on how he expressly opposed new primaries in Michigan and florida. His fear of a new vote and his unwillingness to debate Hillary show his weakness and disregard for the American people and his high regard for himself – arrogant and elitist – Jim Jones also created a mass of followers by his words – any resemblence to Obama?

If he does steal the nomination from Hillary, I will choose to either not vote or vote for mccain who I think is the lesser of two evils. At least McCain’s patriotism and his love of America has never come into question.

I get these kind of e-mails a lot. Why aren't you being harder on so and so? Why aren't you spreading the message about the shadow government's involvement with 9/11? Why aren't you using your cartooning abilities to address the very issues I obsess over everyday?


Wednesday: Huffington Post

News Dying--No, Actually Living!

How this for putting a positive spin on the slow death of print: The Portland Tribune, a free metro paper published twice a week, will be going down to a single printed paper available on Thursdays. What's interesting is that they are announcing this by claiming they are now in fact a daily paper.

Join us each day at www.portlandtribune.com and each Thursday at more than 2,400 locations and green newsstands around Portland.

After all, it is your town and it is your paper – the Portland Tribune – now daily.

Going weekly is going daily...if you post the stories appearing in the print paper slowly throughout the week.

Adding: Writer Kevin Allman follows this stuff and notes how they even spin it as part of the green revolution!

Pandering In Oregon

Appearing today in The Oregonian.

Turdblossom

It's true: A group in San Francisco wants to name their sewage treatment plant after W. It's amusing but isn't it insulting to the people who run that place properly? What if someone named your place of work after Bush? Would it make you proud? It's shitty work but there are people who labor day in and day out to make sure turds don't come out of our faucets--a very important piece of the whole "civilization" thing. Let's not piss these people of.

Monday: The god forsaken Hillary campaign

Mail Bag Douchebag

An Air Force Major at the Pentagon (seriously) writes in:

I realize from the tone of your cartoons, you are not of the belief that those who know how to create wealth should be trusted with the resources to do that.

I have a great idea…please push for the American people to elect socialists to power.

The e-mail then goes on for about 1200 words with a litany of suggestions for my theoretical socialist regime. If I posted the whole thing you'd get bored and go away. Here's some tidbits.

...We can also ban all imports from countries that compete with our own products...we will need to reduce the size of the military by about half...released from the mental institutions...A person's economic success is in their hands...

Then, finally, the point:

When you and your palls [sic] can get this done and after four years of living under a socialist regime, let us know whether you still have your Marxist beliefs about "the rich."

We only get four years? I thought he'd at least grant me the customary Marxist five year plan thing. It's refreshing to know that top brass at the Pentagon spend their mornings composing long e-mails to cartoonists that sound like rants from a FOX News host.

I'm flattered, but isn't he supposed to be doing something important with his time at work? It's almost like he's part of some inefficient big government bureaucracy that needs reform...

Mixed Messages

PAPV (People Against Pixel Violence) are out in full force now that Grand Theft Auto 4 has been released. Crime rates are up, children are dropping out of school and a new generation has been introduced to violence, sex and swear words--things you just can't find anywhere else in the Internet age.

I got news for PAPV. These days kids can type before talk. They're stealing vicodin from you and are on the web watching 2 girls 1 cup and erasing the search history and cookies before you even get home from work. GTA 4 is the least of your worries.

Sometimes people say things that perfectly demonstrate the bizarre moral character of our society. Patrick Lynch, President of the NYC Patrolmen's Benevolent Association, is that person today.

As far as I can tell, I'm the only person who's connected the two quotes, made within a few days of each other. I guess spending my days scouring the web for cartoon fodder has its rewards.

Friday: poop.

Hillary's Latest Qualification

She can drink a senior citizen under the table.

In Heaven as it is on Earth

The Nation just sent out this e-mail:

Imagine this...

Sunday...dinner with The Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Monday...an intimate acoustic concert with Jackson Browne.

Tuesday...Relaxing on the beach in Curacao next to Jeremy Scahill.

Wednesday Night...at the blackjack table with Victor Navasky.

Thursday...cocktails with Katrina vanden Heuvel.

What's going on here? Did you die and go to heaven?

No, that's what you'll find on this year's Nation Magazine Seminar Cruise to the Caribbean.

Sounds heavenly. I know I've had dreams about that exact week long itinerary.

My question: Does everyone on the trip get to relax next to Jeremy Scahill on the beach in Curacao? And will there be an opportunity to rub sun screen all over his muckraking physique? There's only so much Scahill to go around. These lefty mags never get supply and demand, do they?

Grumpy Bear

Pundits are wondering why Obama sat in his church for 20 years listening to this guy. I wonder why anyone sits in a church any amount of time listening to anyone. I'm looking forward to the day when the most media coverage a "Man Of The Cloth™" can get is an item on the local news lamenting the fact that they are still yelling at pedestrians from their street corner pulpit every morning.

I'm just kidding folks! Didn't mean to come off as a crotchety elitist atheist there. I hope religion flourishes, OK?

Of course, asking why a liberal black politician in Chicago attended the largest liberal black church for twenty years is a a question that seems to answer itself. But what if Obama had maintained his status as a non-believer to this day? After all, he was raised in a secular household and only managed to find a reason to believe that Jesus died for his sins around the time he became involved in politics.

Wait--how dare I make that inference!

Conversions happen all the time though and I don't know what's in his heart. Maybe Reverend Wright is really good at convincing Harvard Law School grads that Jesus was born of a virgin. But what if he never was religious and simply replied to questions about his faith by saying that he doesn't believe in a creator?

I think we'd see that in this country trying to get into office with a belief in the Big Bang and a little bit of chance would be more controversial than a pastor hollering about AIDS being created by the government.

Call me crazy.

My previous cartoon with Obama and the Care Bears can be seen here.

Wednesday: Sean Bell outraged over Grand Theft Auto 4

Your Way Right Away

From a recent article in the New Yorker about Gitmo by Jeffery Toobin:

[Guantánamo Task Force Admiral Mark Buzby] noted that the detainees’ interrogation sessions were sometimes catered by the base’s fast-food outlets. “They want those Subway sandwiches!” he said. “Sometimes they just want to talk. Meanwhile, he’s chomping on his Subway B.M.T. It’s all about that give-and-take and that rapport-building. We still get regular questions in for us to ask from the front in the field. We’ll show him a map: ‘Thanks a lot, have a Big Mac.’”

Maybe a detainee could replace Jared as the new Subway spokesman.

Trees Have Rights?

Appearing today in The Oregonian.

Don't let it be said I can't poke fun at environmentalism. A Portland City Commissioner has been lambasted recently, mostly by the right, for suggesting our trees should have rights--most notably, old growth trees having the "right" not to be cut down. While I think it's fine to reasonably preserve old growth trees in city limits, saying it is because they have an inherent right to exist opens it up for some funny extensions of that logic and conflicts with my idea of what rights actually are and where they come from (note: it's not god giving us carte blanche dominion).

The Oregonian's conservative columnist David Reinhard wrote about it today:

If trees have rights, on what philosophical grounds can we deny shrubs, bushes and rocks rights? They can be as "incredible" and "show-stopping" as a mighty oak, a towering elm or a broad maple. If you go in for extending rights to nonhumans, isn't Saltzman guilty a kind of speciesism?

Or some other "isms"? Lookism and ageism? After all, it's hard to believe that Saltzman wants each and every tree to have rights. It's likely that only gorgeous trees will get them. Or heritage trees that, as Saltzman said, "have been there long before us." But shouldn't plain or young trees have rights, too? At least in the moral universe of our Thomas Jefferson of trees?

The punchline refers to a recent dispute about renaming a road after Ceaser Chavez that brought the city to DEFCON 2 levels of confrontation. Talking about which letters get grafted to a tin sign apparently riles folks up. So do trees.

Back To The Issues

So there's that video from the 90s where some campaign guy for Clinton was supposed to say something racist and everybody flipped out for a couple of hours, but now it seems to be fake. I listened to Ed Schultz today and he was ranting and raving about how this is a "shocking revelation" and that Hillary Clinton needs to publicly explain why this guy on her husband's campaign may have said the "n-word" in 1992. A very pressing matter, to be sure. I'm doing some polling on it tonight to see how many people switched to Obama because of it.

Something else in the video struck me as offensive and that was George Stephanopolous's jean jacket. IT'S HORRID. What is Hillary's position on this? I'm no high-paid radio host or pundit but I think she need to distance herself from it. This is very off putting to many Americans. We'd like to put that era behind us. The 90s was not a good time for everything, Mrs. Clinton.


My video analysts tell me this is NOT doctored. 100% real. I think Obama's people dug this up to embarrass George. He looks so boyish.

Let's talk about it non-stop for the next five weeks.

Holy Water

I picked up a bottle of the awesomely named "H2Oregon" water which claims to be the "Best Pure Water On Earth!" It's quite a boast but just look at all the processes they employ to ensure a high quality water drinking experience.



Read it out loud. Pretty impressive. They forgot one thing: infusing it with the blessing of Peter Popoff!

100 Year Peace

John McCain has said we may be in Iraq for one hundred, perhaps even a million years. But don't worry--it'll be a peaceful occupation. Interesting sales pitch.

Monday: The Care Bears Return!